Confessions of a Cam Girl

Waking up feels more like falling asleep.

I’ve no place my own to be.

Stars light Christian through a basement window.

He wants me here.

The longer I stay the more afraid I am,

to lose what’s wild and magical.

I’m stray ether way.

In 9 days I’m Stockholmed.

Stocked cupboards,

Still I keep rations in my pack.

Survival habit.

CHRISTIAN:  ‘Why is it so hard to admit you love me?’

I’m considering giving up for him.

Scared someones making this decision for me.

I woke next to Christian this morning.

Kira picked us up a quarter early.

Her and her BF Ken, they’re both so sexy.

The four of us bathe in the sun and sea.

We dove off cliffs and swam to a sail boat.

Along the country back roads,

Ken sped with the windows down.

The sea salt drying in our hair.

I baked pizza and we slept off the sun

before catching it set,

and sharing a frosty chocolate milk shake.

It’s a perfect end to a special day.

So what compels me over to Ryan’s at

11pm? The weed, the love?

It’s obvious when I’m here. I feel like a woman,

over and over and over.